Heritage vs. Diversity

So I realized that my family is straying more and more away from our Teo Chew roots. When I was little, Chinese was my primary language at home and English was always secondary. Vietnamese was negligible, even though it was my parents' adopted tongue and was constantly used when relatives gathered on the weekends. Like other Teo Chew families in our community (at least I imagine) our food, outlook, and mannerism were steep in Chinese culture, and heavily accented by our TC heritage. Sometimes, we would reach out to our host countries (current and former) by sampling their cuisine and entertainment options in an attempt to show our appreciation for their hospitality. But they would remain foreign entities in our hearts and mind. Even our fellow Cantonese neighbors were set aside for weekend indulgences (except for tv and film since TC ones are virtually non-existence). We were raised the Teo Chew way and set up to maintain and pass on that state of existing.

But that seemed like eons ago. Mom no longer cooks stictly TC food, or even regularly. We still eat Chinese food daily, but gone are the nuances and embelishments that separate them from other Asian households. It is quite sad to realize that my younger siblings will not be able to pick out a TC dish from among dozens of Cantonese ones. English has assumed itself as the dominant tongue with Vietnamese a close second. Darn those Romans and their Alphabets! I feel quite helpless in my futile quest to keep our language alive as I can see my vocabulary crumbling and withering away as I attempt to raise its usage. The social aspect of TC life is not much better either. We attend the Temple and shop at TC owned markets out of habit more so than mere appreciation or enjoyment. We've stop frequenting TC restaurants and shops because we no longer feel the urgency to be loyal and dutiful even though our loyalty is being challenge more so at this moment than a decade ago. Even friends with TC roots are being tossed assunder as we embrace the new and exciting key marks of unfamiliar cultures. I, myself, have tried being more receptive to acquainances who are TC, but novelty wears off once the dust begins to settle.

Somewhere along the way, TC became 'Tentatively Chinese.' Perhaps, it was the separation from the Teo Chew enclave. Perhaps it was the departures of the elderly. Perhaps it was the impact of multiple assimilations and the general apathy of the first generation. Somehow, we allowed ourselves to be engulfed in the melting pot of America and undistinguishable from our fellow Countrymen. We can call ourselves Chinese Americans, but we cannot be truly Teo Chew and American at the same time without losing a piece of each in the compromise. Such is the price for freedom of thought and the flourishment of diversity. Whether this price is large or small, depends stictly on which side of the line we find ourselves on at any given moment.

Update on Elle

In case you're wondering, why so much time has lapse....well much has happened, and even more has not.

I took a break from work to indulge in a nice relaxing vacation, got lazy, met new people, hung out with old friends, injured myself, and got reacquainted with my other half. Not necessarily in this order. To sum it up, let's just say it has been a rollercoaster of a season and what better way to celebrate it than at the happiest place on Earth, hah? Hah?

Seriously though, I was very happy for a period and then extremely sad for an equal amount of time. I guess when you're that high up, any fall will feel extra hard. Now I'm just riding the tide back and forth. I knew this would be a rough year, but I was really hoping to defy the Fates. As if that's not bad enough, the year's still quite fresh and full. This will definitely be an "interesting" year.

So what else is new? I am in danger of becoming a hypocrite which also happens to be one of my pet peeves. The mighty Gods have presented me with a new test of life. This time, it appears that my conviction is on the line. The problem is, I am not sure which part is the actual test. Do I stand my ground and refuse the temptation as I have constantly told myself I would do, should I ever be presented with this type of challenge? Or would this not go away until I step up to the plate and engage in the game? I want to be strong and go with my original plan, but at the same time, I like playing with fire. I just don't want to get burned or injure the other parties involved. Such difficult choices. And all I wanted was to have some fun. No strings, no guilt. Maybe I'm just not that kind of girl.



Anyhoo, on a lighter note.........

Random thought of the month: Strawberries taste like tongue.

Myths About Elle: Food

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How well do people really know you?



My friends can finish my thoughts and My siblings can predict my reactions, and yet, they wouldn't be able to tell you who my favorite actor is, or which food I prefer or rather just the opposite. Having known my close knit crew intimitely for a long time now, some things go without saying. And then, there are those "other" trivial tidbits that have gone un-noticed. As the list is a growing one, I will just touch on the singular subject of food.

Caffeine

Myth: Elle does not drink coffee.

Myth: Elle cannot handle caffeine

Truth: So far away. Being Chinese, tea is never more than a sip away. Having grown up in Vietnam, I thrive on French Roast. I can't even remember my first sip of coffee because I was so young. My parents often reminisce that I drank cupfuls by the time I was 4. Don't believe it? Just consider my stature. Ask anyone - I'm the shortest one in the family.

Origin: I used to drink tea everyday and coffee on weekends. Then I got to college and only had time for tea once a week and coffee once a month. Not adjusting well to often haphazard schedule of University life, it became increasingly hard to get up. At the same time, I began feeling numb to the effects of caffeine. And so, I gave it up. Eventually, the dominating traces of the drug was flushed out of my system and I was no longer immune to the effects from occasional indulgences. It wasn't until the invasion of Boba-mania that tea slowly crept back into my life. Coffee however remains over-priced and less forgivable.

Dairy

Myth: Elle cannot eat cheese

Truth: Elle is only somewhat lactose intolerant.

Origin: I say "no" to certain cheeses. They see that I'm Asian and have trouble downing milk (sometimes) - thus, a convenient lie is born. I actually have more success with cheese than milk, but it is just easier to tell people that I can't digest hard or crumbly cheeses.

Real Truth: I can't get past the stench of hard cheeses like Parmesan and I don't like the texture of Feta. Bleu Cheese encompasses both qualities so I try to stay as far away from it as possible.

Dessert

Myth: Elle likes sweet stuff

Truth: Whoever believes that obviously has not seen me scrape the excess icing off my donuts. Don't get me wrong. I like dessert, just not overly sweet ones. Hence, I prefer Asian cakes and plain donuts.

Origin: I have been caught on numerous occasions, oggling the dessert menu. What can I say? The pictures are pretty. And if someone insists, I'm not going say no.

Alcohol

Myth: Elle enjoys social drinking

Truth: I do not enjoy the taste of wine and spirits. The conspicous glow of my Asian Flush is not encouraging either. Bottom line: Wine gives me a headache, cheap liquor makes me nauseous, and beer tastes bitter (though I do have a higher tolerance for bitter foods than I used to, making this my current drink of choice).

Origin: I like looking at pretty cocktails too. I also enjoy the smell of wine and the way it enhances savory food. I drink on special occasions to join in on the good cheer, but my willingness to partake shouldn't be mistaken for delectation.

So how well do you know your peeps?

V-Day Re-take: #742

So now I long for the same chocolates which I had deserted a short while ago. And, of course, I had neglected to stash away the few remnants that strayed around. Thus, my triumphal cessation has morphed into pro-longed yearning. How's that for irony?

Weekend Update: CNY & WBD

Our city hosted a New Year's festival a couple of days ago. Mostly comprised of a bunch of promotional booths sponsored by various banks and HMOs, so not exactly fun fair, but our moms found it rather thrilling. They liked playing the various games to collect free trinkets and buying cheap Chinese goods. Oh yes, and we can't forget the complimentary polaroids - although quite a few companies have upgraded to the Kodak easyshare type of set-up. I'm surprised they haven't stepped in to promote their printer/camera combos. Actually, it would be pretty cool to have a booth with various backgrounds where festival goers can have their pictures taken, or snap the shots themselves. Then they would move over to the printing station to see how easy it is to print their own pictures. Alot of moms would appreciate this type of demonstration since they rarely get to take digital pictures themselves.

Anyhow, the highlight of the day was watching my friend, K, participate in the Karaoke contest. She did not make the cut, however, but was given a warm applause and nice consolation prize. Actually, she was probably quite nervous since she sounded a bit off. Kudos to her anyway, since I don't think I would be able to get up on that stage by myself.

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On another note, the highly anticipated President's Day Sale was highly disappointing. Should have known that selections would be weak on the heels of V-Day. Speaking of which, I finally did get around to eating those scrumptious chocolates. Kind of sad, but I had to force myself to pop in the first one. Of course, afterwards the rest slid down quite effortlessly. There were a couple with raspberry fillings that did not strike my fancy, but the color did offset well with the pot of violets I received.

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Oh yeah, and finally got a chance to tidy up my room, although I wasn't able to get rid of anything yet. Holidays always throw me off the trash schedule. I think they should send us a calendar. Yep, so everything is in neater bundles (including the junk and scraps), just waiting for the garbage truck to turn around.

Lonely vs. Alone

It used to be that I would feel lonely around the Hallmark days, but never alone. Lately, however, it has been just the opposite. You see, I have a back-up. The problem, though, is that I keep him at the top of my list, whereas he is saving me for the final cut. And so, here I am, moping on the most carded holiday of the year. But let's leave his story for another rainy day.

Back to the query: What's worse.........feeling lonely or alone?

Previously, loneliness seeped in and out of my life, but I knew I had someone on reserve, so I tried to not let it get to me. Plus, I had plenty of more or less single friends. We were a tight knit bunch, united in our affinity for the uncommitted life. We still are, though a few recent developments have threatened to rip open our circle. Which brings me to........

Why Blog: Reason #3 (Friendsunk)

Like I said, my gals and I are very close. We all met as Freshmen while living in the same dorm complex and our bonds flourished with each periodic gathering in the later terms. Boyfriends came and went but no trouble was felt because none of them stuck around long enough to be welcomed or accepted. Now, though, one of our friends has nabbed a welcomed, potential suitor. Don't get me wrong. We're happy for her. This is what we've wanted for each other. I just didn't think C would leave me so quickly.

At first, I thought it was envy I felt, since said suitor was a potential for most of us and plus I assumed C's time was still distant. However, I eventually came to realize that it was actually sadness that was gnawing at me (quite literally). I play the supportive friend, but each time she relays her new stories, I feel an invisible pair of forceps pinching me. [On a side note: This must be how R feels whenever he sees his newly engaged ex.] Thus, I turn to blogger-space to mark this end of an era and leap forth onto a new ship to sail beyong C & E.

Oops, I just noticed the question went un-answered. But it's late and all of the lovebirds have flown, so I'll leave the answer up to you readers.

Chocolate Melt-Down

I have a lovely box of truffles sitting in front of me and a bag of m&m/Mars mix waiting for me at home. Yet, I can't bring myself to even touch one. Not even a fantasy. Christmas has ruined my taste buds with the constant downpour of sweet temptations. My mouth is salivating, but each time I begin to imagine picking up a truffle and sinking my teeth into them, I feel a knot in my stomach (yes, stomach; right beneath my heart). It's almost nauseating.

What has become of me? I used to love chocolate. Truffles were a luxury, Twix was a pleasure and Snickers hit the spot when hunger beckoned. I bought the V-Day pack last weekend just because I felt this occasion required some chocolate. Come to think of it, I probably chose this particular pack out of habbit rather than due to some intense craving. Snickers used to be my Ichiban, yet I cannot recall the last time I ate one (although if I had to guess, I'd probably say around Halloween). Perhaps I should have gone with my initial selection of Reese's cups, but then again, just the thought of them (at this moment) has sucked the sweetness out of my saliva.