Change, Change, Change

So many changes this last year. I've been swapping entertainment partners and started dating again, only to find out I no longer want to date. I just want to be with one guy. The guy. My guy. Can't say I saw this coming. Me and S had so many convictions on how to deal with such issues, and I find that as I face them, I so readily am prepared to shun my own rules. What has the world come to? And yet, I continue to have no regrets and very little shame. Oy.

So many changes this year. S is leaving the tri-city area and heading towards the other edge of our valley. It definitely won't be the same without her nearby. I might have to update more often since she will be but a finger tip away. Or a phone call. Maybe even a short hop on the freeway, but that is beside the point.

So many changes next year. I have to start focusing on my career again and finish some courses that I looked into. Need to cut down on lag time and perfection too, hence the choppy posts. Got to be quick in my mind and on my feet so I can fit everything in my schedule. These last few years have been slow paced and relaxing, but the clock still ticks away relentlessly.

Most of the time change is difficult, but sometimes it is good. Sometimes, really good. People can't be afraid of change, otherwise, we will never evolve. After all, we can't have improvements without some sort of change. We can just hope it is for the better and be ready to embrace it or overcome it if it proves to be otherwise.

It's been awhile.....

Happy New year!

So I've been seeing this guy for a few months, which is partly why I've been MIA (but really, I've just been lazy). He actually made me forget about the others, well, not exactly, but figuratively speaking, yes. Perhaps it would be more fitting to say that he makes me want to forget the other guys. Having someone new made me reflect on the reasons why the others did not work out. I'm still not sure as to why I'm so drawn to the current flame. It's not just because he's new or exceptionally hot. But I did choose him. As cheesy as this may sound, he is unlike the other guys, although he is a regular guy. More importantly, he makes me happy. It makes me sad when he is not happy. The future is unclear at the moment, but at least I do not foresee an end. It's a new beginning and a new year. I hope the story continues to unravel and there is a happy ending. I am still a romantic after all.

=)

Old friends, New faces

So a couple of weeks ago, I ran into my childhood bff. She recently had her first kid and it just seemed so strange to me, even though I knew she was married and many of our peers were already married with children. She looked the same as she had since college, but somehow, it felt like we were light years apart. She's so ready for family life and here I am still single and restless. Sigh!



A few days ago, I met a nice young, but not too young gentleman. Unfortunately, I am terrible with names and faces. I sometimes remember one or the other but not both. Or rather, what they wore or liked, if it stood out. In this case, I absolutely cannot recall his name - not even the first letter. And I only have a vague recollection of his portrait. Sigh!



All I can say is that he is Asian, tanned, sensible, intelligent and attractive in a geeky way. I was at a market and he steered me away from a cart run amuck. It was nice to be in someone's arms again, even if it were brief and a stranger's. His face brushed against mine, and well, that's all I can think about since. I believe I did manage a, 'Thank you." Perhaps he'll remember my face when we do meet again. Sigh!

Close Your Eyes

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

And I'll Kiss You,
Tomorrow I'll Miss You,
Remember, I'll Always Be True.


Of course I still think about him. Maybe not as frequently nor as intensely as previous, but how can I forget?


I'll Pretend That I'm Kissing,
The Lips I Am Missing,
And Hope That My Dreams Will Come True.


I'm a romantic. Not hopeless. Just persistent. And unrelenting. Even if I know better. Even if the world says otherwise. For I cannot surrender. I've invested too much.


And While You're Away,
We'll Write Home Everyday,
And I'll Send All My Loving to You.


I will cherish the past and look forward, towards the future. And I'll miss him. Because I am missing him. And I still believe.

=(

Nostalgic. Pain.

Xin Tong

Shen me shi ai?
Shen me you shi wu nai?
Wu yan de xiang dui,
Wo shi fo yi ming bai?

Man man, zhou shang ni de mian qian,
Mo jing ni de shou,
Jiang ren zhe yan lei dui ni,
Shuo sheng, zhen zhong.

Yi wei wo men de ai,
Hui liu quan zai shi jie,
Yi wei wo men de shi yan,
Hui zhi dao yong yuan,

Shui zhi zuo ye meng li de ni,
Zao yi jing bu shi ni,
Cong ci, wo ye bu zhai shi,
Zi ji.

******

Shen me shi ai?
Shen me you shi wu nai?
Wu yan de xiang dui,
Wo shi fo yi ming bai?

Man man, zhou shang ni de mian qian,
Mo jing ni de shou,
Jiang ren zhe yan lei dui ni,
Shuo sheng, zhen zhong.

Yi wei wo men de ai,
Hui liu quan zai shi jie,
Yi wei wo men de shi yan,
Hui zhi dao yong yuan,

Shui zhi zuo ye meng li de ni,
Zao yi jing bu shi ni,
Wo ye bu zai shi
Zi Ji!

Yi wei yuan fang de feng,
Hui cui shang wo de tong,
Wo yi wei huang he de tian bian,
You ke wang de wen rou,

Zhi shi, zhe ge dui ni de xin,
Cong ci, mei you ren neng dong,
Ren zai wo xin tong de meng,
Piao liu!

Thought of the Day

It's hard to restrain yourself when the sign says, "Don't Touch."

It's even more difficult when you're the one who posted the sign.

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

I feel silly.  I've been cyber-spying on someone(s) who wanted to get to know me and seem to have turned things around.  I think I will stop now.  For reals.  It's not worth my time or agony and no longer fun.  sigh.  

On the flip side, today is a great day to get together with my still single friends to mingle.  Sure we've lost a few to Cupid, but the rest of us can still find comfort in each other's solace.  Plus it's a great excuse to get ice cream and other sweet treats!

So HSAD and HVD a!!